Home The Adventures of Zappa Man (A futuristic fantasy)

The Adventures of Zappa Man (A futuristic fantasy)

by Vivek Borkar
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Zappa Man was getting cosy with his girlfriend Lympha in their chamber in Zappodome, when his phone implant buzzed. It was the President of Rothan City himself.

“Zappa,” the President sounded tense. “It’s an emergency. Come quick.”

“Right on,” said Zappa, as he zapped out of the bed into his Zapsuit and was soon racing the Zapmobile towards the presidential palace, leaving a very unhappy Lympha behind. Within minutes he was striding into the large, oblong presidential office which every citizen of Rothan City knew about, but few had the privilege to enter.

“Zappa,” the President fired away, “the mysterious recent epidemic in Rothan City has been linked by our scientists to the pollen of Bizzarum obscurantum from Planet Simpleton, which has accidentally crossed over the intergalactic space. Your job is to go there and bring a sample of Bizzarum obscurantum for our scientists to analyse.”

“Done,” said Zappa, as he zapped out of the palace on his Zapmobile, which promptly morphed into a spacecraft at his command. In no time he was landing on the open plains of Simpleton, and racing towards Simple City in a reconverted Zapmobile.  Zapmobile’s GIU (Geographical Intelligence Unit) took him to the presidential palace of Simple City before you* could say, ‘Zappa Man’. He stormed into the palace, zapping off with his Zapgun the few foolish sentries who tried to stop him. Inside, a meeting was in progress, presided over by a serene old man with a flowing white beard. Zappa correctly surmised that this indeed was the President, and conveyed to him his mission.

* or I

“Why do you think your problems come from somewhere else?” the President asked him.

– “Zappa,” the President fired away, “the mysterious recent epidemic in Rothan City has been linked by our scientists to the pollen of Bizzarum obscurantum from Planet Simpleton, which has accidentally crossed over the intergalactic space.

Zappa had no time for such babble, so he quickly zapped off the President with his Zapgun, zapping off a few more in audience to quickly quell a nascent uproar. As he stormed out, he was surprised to see that word had gone around and a crowd of angry citizens was waiting for him outside. Being quite adept at crowd control, his Zapgun went into action and the crowd (or what was left of it) became quiet. He grabbed the nearest guy still standing on his feet by his collar and asked him where the fields of Bizzarum obscurantum were located. The man pointed a shaky finger eastwards.

“Good man!” Zappa patted him on the back, “From now on, you are the President.” He thrust the man onto the presidential seat from where the corpse of its previous occupant had recently rolled down. Soon, the Zapmobile was zapping eastwards.

Sure enough, Zappa found a large savannah covered with lush, green vegetation, swaying in the breeze. He quickly inflated his inflatable haversack and filled it up with a generous load of samples. In no time the Zapmobile, a spaceship once more, was zapping back to Rothan City.

“Trying to palm off ordinary grass from your backyard as Bizzarum obscurantum? What do you think we are? A bunch of morons?”

Zappa delivered his booty at the presidential office and was back in Zappodome with Lympha to complete their unfinished business, when his phone implant buzzed. Again.

“Zappa!” the President screamed into the phone, “you jerk!”

“Umm…,” Zappa mumbled, but the President thundered on.

“Trying to palm off ordinary grass from your backyard as Bizzarum obscurantum? What do you think we are? A bunch of morons?”

“Umm…,” Zappa tried again, but the President wouldn’t stop.

“You are sacked, Zappa! Out! Fini! The contract now goes to Snappa Man.”

“Umm…,” Zappa tried yet again, but the phone implant went dead on him.

Snappa Man was getting cosy with his girlfriend Zeta in their chamber in Snappodome, when his phone implant buzzed.

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