This was in our third year. We had just won the Institute Treasure Hunt. Our joy knew no bounds. Jitna daru ka stock tha pee liye. But yeh Dil Mange More. So we went to YP seeking some more.
It was late in the night. RLC ka stock khatam ho gaya tha. Lekin, hamare liye, kahin se leke aaya ek botal.
We didn’t bother to see what was in it. Leke aaye triumphantly hostel mein. Polished it off in no time. Angoor ki beti chadh gayi in no time. Must have been some like spurious stuff. Didn’t know what hit me. I suddenly felt like relieving myself.
Staggered up to the toilet. In the toilet were five doors. The two on the left were bathrooms. The two on the extreme right were toilets. The fifth one in the middle was a sort of trap door.
Opens to open space. Just one small step and a ladder leading to the terrace. Now, try as I might. I kept opening the middle door. Alfie and Jakebhai tried their best to pull me out and shove me through the right door.
But suicidal tendency ruled. I would keep going back to the trap door. A la Dharmendra in Sholay. Suicide !
Finally, they managed to put me into the right door. Suicide CANCELLED.
Now cut to our Silver Jubilee Reunion. When the family visited the hostel, I found Alfred (Grease Baba) very eager to show my son Abhishek around, especially when it came to our wing.
He quickly took Abhishek to the bogs and showed him the middle door and said ” This is the door through which your father attempted suicide.” It’s only thanks to us that you are here today.
Else, Bhagwan ko pyaare ho jaate , tumhara father. Bach gaya saala !
Woh suicidal tendency kuch tha nahi ! Bass kadam chuk gayi. Was like Arjun. Sirf ek door nazar aata tha.
Totally focussed. Kaash padhaayi mein aisa hota!
Our third year Gokul Ashtami. Dahi handi at hostel. Pyramid ban gaya. Kept calling. Finally OK. Lekin upar wala tha nahi. I volunteered.
Went up. Fell down the first time. Second time successfully reached the handi
Even as I was breaking the pot, I felt the earth (rather pyramid) below me shifting.
People below me came down. I was left hanging to the pot. Handi se dahi nikhal gayi. Muh mein dahi jam gayi.
I was literally left hanging by the thread (rope in this instance). Even as I was thinking of my English Teacher, Mrs. Castellino who had taught me only about Jack and Jill and Humpty Dumpty and pride having falls, here I was coming down at speed to join the gang.
Even as I was thinking about it, thud, crash, stars. Main kahaan hoon types (almost).
In our 5th year project submission time, I wanted to go to the department and show the report to my guide, Pattu.
I borrowed a friend’s bike (name withheld) , a rickety hand- me-down of the 60s vintage.
Around 12:30, I was returning from the department. When I went past the convo on to the slope, I felt the front wheel moving away from me. Dekhte dekhte, there were 2 single wheelers instead of one bicycle.
Poor I, had to pull the two vehicles, luckily only up to H8. Socho, what would have happened if I were in H6!
When I entered the hostel with the two new vehicles, the owner of the bicycle went red. Being a shuddh Jain, he controlled his anger. But his looks almost killed me.
Ek Ka Do!