The sun was about to set as waves lapped gently on the private shores of the Presidential estate in Hawaii. Tiki torches glowed in the fading light of dusk, as Pandit Obama played host to Acharya Modi in the verandah, classically decorated with artefacts dating back to King Kamehameha. Modi, dressed in Armani, did not mind being pampered in the least. It was a quiet evening between the leaders of the world’s two largest democracies, as they discussed alliances and partnerships and Putin’s shirtless poses.
Modi, got down to business soon after a round of cocktails, “Panditji, your country is very obese, it is driving your healthcare costs up. So why don’t you send Americans to India and they can move their butts to Bollywood tunes. They can Shake in India.”
Panditji, not entirely impressed, said “Ya, but it is too hot over there, isn’t, it?”.
“Well, yeah, it is kind of hot. It is funny you bring this up, Panditji, because it ties in with another initiative of ours, called Bake in India. It’s so freakin hot you don’t even need an oven, the whole damn country is an oven.” As the evening progressed, the Shake and Bake in India conversation was batted around a bit, Panditji offered, “OK my friend, we can have Americans Shake and Bake in India, if you sign the TPP.”
As word has leaked out, the two leaders have tied the knot on this rather secretive agreement, the TPP (Toilet Paper Partnership). Panditji, when asked by a reporter as he exited the retreat, simply said, “TPP is a great deal for the Americans and the Indians, it keeps American logging jobs at home so we can chop down old growth redwoods, but most of all Americans can make sure that India’s ass is clean, since we are going to Shake and Bake there.”
[Watch Indians Shake and Bake here.]