Home 2022 An Elegy on the Death of an Yellow Bike

An Elegy on the Death of an Yellow Bike

by Girish Nayak
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Artwork by Prof. Arun Inamdar

The yellow bike was an abomination. Its owner, who was named after the mating call of the Rana Tigrina, was contemplating the despicable act of making money from a hand me down.

This tells the story of how the four Lamas, who shall remain unnamed for no obvious reasons, managed to prevent this heinous act from taking place. As I remember, this story had a moral. Thankfully, somewhere along its multiple retellings, it has been lost!

On a wintry night at Hostel 2 long ago
Three Chemos were returning with a Meta in tow

Just returning were they from a mini bash
On a couple of quarters they had blown all their cash

As they walked up the corridor what did they eye?
Covered with peepal leaves, there did it lie

The yellow bike which belonged to Bawa Senior
Now owned by Croak in his final year

Mind you Croak had gotten it for FREE
Not a dime he paid, he parked it under the tree

Having used it for better part of the year he had
What he was about to do with it was quite sad

He entered into a deal with a junior fellow
Going to get paid was he, for that bike yellow!!

Such injustice the hostel hath never seen
Profit making from hand-me-downs? Obs…

My memory is rusty, I don’t have much to say
Who poured the kerosene, on that fateful day

Who piled the leaves on the rubber tyres of the bike
To whom this delightful idea, did first strike

Who egged on the Meta guy with a bird like name
To pull out the matches and set the yellow thing aflame

(To be sung to the tune of “This Jesus must Die” from Jesus Christ Superstar)

What then to do about this yellow bike conspicuous ?
Monstrosity incarnate, owned by a frog

No style, no substance, this bike is obnoxious.

One thing I’ll say for it — It just ain’t cool.

We dare not let the frog just sell it
He had got it for free, let’s not forget it was a dole.

But how can we stop it?
He plans to sell it,
Can happen any moment; he’s just on a roll.

I see this as disturbing.
He will sell for a profit; which he will make if he can.
I see terrible perfidiousness,
Obliteration of ethics because of one man.
Obliteration because of one man.

Because, because, because he can.

Devious machinations because he can.

Because, because, because he, ’cause ne, ’cause he just can.

What then to do about this toad’s mania?

How do we stop him from the bike, he is selling?

How do we stop a toad who is more shameless
Than Don was when Don did his presidential gig?

Fools, you have no perception!
The sale he is angling for is tantalisingly nigh!
We must stop him completely,
So to make this a surety, the yellow bike must die.
For the sake of propriety, the yellow bike must die.

Must die, must die, the yellow bike must die.

For the sake of propriety, the yellow bike must die.

Must die, must die, the yellow bike must, Yellow bike must, the yellow bike must die!

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